Author Topic: Funny Comp, to win something awesome  (Read 1083 times)

Offline Craig

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Funny Comp, to win something awesome
« on: March 05, 2016, 01:11:02 AM »
Below I have written a little something. decipher it for me as I can't understand a fucking thing about what I wrote.


Would you Adam and Eve it? I went to a pub with some friends and we was sat at the bar and some dirty, dirty slag let out a right good Raspberry Tart. We all looked at her in disgust but she didn't seem to give a shit while she was popping some Army and Navy on her roast dinner. There was such a pen and ink, it bought me to me bastard Biscuits and Cheese! Whilst I was down on the ground I noticed she had a cracking pair bacon and eggs. Dam those things were long an tanned well. I said to me boys, who were laughing there tits off at the bar, " take a butchers at them bacon and eggs".

The bar man said, "Use your crust, lad, She's a bit daffy that one, it's Harries daughter, stinky Sue. He'll stick his boot up your Khyber if he knew you was sniffing around that". "Ah", they all said, Harries of his loaf, we ain't fucking around with that, he's a right proper Hampton wick. "I must admit though, for a stinky tart she got nice mince pies boys. "Come on lads", said Mickey, "were gonna get in some shit with the Trouble and Strife. Lets finish these pints and grab our Weasel and Stoat's, were out of here, it fucking sticks.


Well I hope you enjoyed the read. Can you decipher the meanings and slang involved? Can you identify all the "slang" inside the text? I'll not tell you how many there are, but there is a few. As it is, it won't mean anything to you, but changing words back into normal English will open them "mince pies" :P Have fun.
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Offline Feargan

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Re: Funny Comp, to win something awesome
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2016, 09:01:07 AM »
I gave it my best try, click "SHOW" below to see my attempt. By the way, as a result of this, we now have " [spoiler] [/spoiler] " BBC code tags available for use here on the forum.  8)
Spoiler: show

Would you believe it? I went to a pub with some friends. We were sitting at the bar and some dirty, dirty slag let out a right good fart. We all looked at her in disgust but she didn't seem to care while she was pouring some gravy on her roast dinner. There was such a stink, it brought me to my bastard knees! Whilst I was down on the ground, I noticed she had an excellent pair of legs. Damn those things were long and tanned well! I said to my friends who were laughing heartily at the bar, "Look at those legs".

The bar man said, "Use your head, lad, She's a bit strange, that one; it's Harrie's daughter, stinky Sue. He'll stick his boot up your ass if he knew you were interested in her". "Ah," they all said, "Harrie is crazy, we ain't fucking around with that, he's a right proper dick. "I must admit though, for a stinky tart, she is nice on the eyes, boys." "Come on lads," said Mickey, "we're gonna get in trouble with the wife. Let's finish these pints and grab our coats, we're out of here, it fucking sticks.


Best translation I could make.  ???
« Last Edit: March 05, 2016, 09:07:14 AM by Feargan »

Offline Craig

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Re: Funny Comp, to win something awesome
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2016, 09:04:38 AM »
Great stuff, Need to make it harder next time. A more up to date rhyming is in order..... Time to go to work.
I love cake, and HAMMERS

Come visit me at

 http://RigsUK.com