Author Topic: This is the story of Stanley Employee 432  (Read 2713 times)

Offline Alexi

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This is the story of Stanley Employee 432
« on: August 30, 2016, 10:12:01 AM »
Hey Everyone

So a few days ago I was completing some foundry missions in STO and was enjoying my promotion ceremony on E.S.D. I had just selected my new ship and was making modifications to it when I got an invite to be on this fleet. I was on a fleet once before, but they booted me when I lost internet and found myself financial trouble so I was stoked to see that I didn't have to find a fleet and a fleet found me. Gina invited me and I was stoked about it. So because you all remind me of the good fella's I served with in the Marines I'm gonna give you guys the bad ass crash course of who I am, and what I'm about.

Metal Metal Metal

If you haven't guessed by the heading I'm a metal head. I love all kinds of metal to be honest. I love metal so much I could be Gajeel Redfox the Iron Dragon Slayer from Fairy Tail. I also love Anime, because to me it just seems like that's what cartoons should be, though I do love Extreme Exercising with Pantera episode Spongebob had once. At 21 I was signed to Century Media Records on rhythm guitar in a no named band that not many people ever got to see. For those curious my drummer didn't read the contract, so my ticket to fame was miserable. We as a business only was making our cut of the profit to enjoy dollar menu meals between four people at McDonald's before we had to use what was left for gas to get where we needed to go. If it wasn't for Howard Jones of Killswitch Engage and Matt Heafy of Trivium for being really great guys in 2006 when I got to open for them at dive places I don't know how I would have survived while on tour, without an album yet produced. I eventually broke contract legally, because I couldn't handle being hungry on stage wearing ratty clothes. Like any other job it sucks until you gain tenure, but it's nice to have done. I'm married now so I just make music at home and took that experience to garner the know how to be my own studio. How bad ass is that?

I'm a tough mudder! Yes that is right. I enjoy running in the mud for 13 miles completing 20 military grade obstacle courses. Who doesn't love running through fire, jumping over fire, jumping into a 5 ft pool of 32 degree F water to crawl under a 1.5 foot pass at the bottom? Who doesn't love military crawling in rank ass mud with barbed wire above you? Mmmm it brings joy to this Devil Dog's heart.

I'm a life coach? Got problems on getting to where you wanna go? I can help you with that! I'm hardcore though my clients sometimes don't know how to handle my accountability methods. I drop people who waste their own time. I only take serious clients that desire bettering themselves and show real progress and initiative. Do people get ass sore when I drop them? Sure! But how does it better them to pay me 40 an hour if they are wasting their own time and money? That is why I'm like, this is not helping you when you're serious come see me, but here is a partial refund this is the only way I know how to help you right now.

I'm 30 years old and I love gaming. I don't play many PC games, but I have got a few games from steam I love and I'll name those here.

  • Nihilumbra
  • Ghost 1.0
  • The Stanley Parable (love that game reminds me of Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy)
  • Jotun (who doesn't love completely hand-drawn graphics?)
  • To The Moon

Other games I play in the MMO world are
  • World Of Warships
  • Star Wars: The Old Republic
  • Hearthstone
  • Star Trek Online (best for last)

I'm mainly a console gamer so if you have a PS4 and play Star Wars Battlefront definitely let me know we can trade handles and we can kick some ass as I love that game. Always need more pilots to fly and conquer with. Forced myself to get good at the FPS portion of the game. I'm not the greatest, but I can be very hella annoying to other players. I'm like a plague I just don't die all that much. I find my military training hinders me on how I play FPS anything, but I've adapted and overcame my digital surroundings. I have other games just PM me and we can figure it out. I don't own an Xbox though so no luck there.


Even though this is a bunch of stuff that I like to do and not really who I am, you can at least see what I'm like to talk to anyways. I give zero fucks about a lot of things, peoples feelings, etc. I'm not an asshole, but people in the world these days are so easy to offend  and it's silly to me. I'm agnostic, so if you wanna talk religion with me that's cool I don't give a shit I like mentally stimulating conversations. I'm huge on philosophy and Astro-Physics and all that nerdy shit. Even though I'm a redshirt in Unfound I am excited to help the fleet out and right now since I started working again (I was really injured very much and couldn't work, but I got better 2 years later) I only really have time to play STO since I'm an admin to another forum, which explains my BBcoding badassery. I'm just a really busy guy, but I will make time for you all, since you made time for me and that's how that shit works with me!

I'm Alexi, it's a pleasure to make bad ass self known to a league of bad asses.

Offline Craig

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Re: This is the story of Stanley Employee 432
« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2016, 04:53:33 PM »
Hello, Welcome. I think you may fit in very well here at Unfound. We're all kinda crazy in our own way here, we also don't give a fuck about peoples feelings and other stupid shit that can occur throughout day to day life. We kind of say "hello, how are you"? and that is about it. The pleasantries stop there. Were a gaming bunch, Use to be Star Trek orientated and that is pretty much where Unfound spawned from. The depths of hell one new years eve long ago when it was just a hand full of us, then two weeks later, we were many. Thanks to persistence, bribery and a little blackmail.

Many of us appear on Teamspeak so if you get a chance pop along and say hello. We don't get on Star Trek all that often right now but we know it's there. Lurking in our minds like an ever present dull ache. I see you met Cababs/Gina, he is our hero, and he knows it.

My name is Craig, Gnasher on Teamspeak not currently playing Sto, kinda on the No mans sky train along with a few other games on Steam, I have many. Hope to be meeting you soon, stay frosty.

I love cake, and HAMMERS

Offline Feargan

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Re: This is the story of Stanley Employee 432
« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2016, 06:15:10 PM »
Damn glad to meet you Alexi,

Excellent introduction; I'm really looking forward to talking Metal, guitar, anime, gaming, and all things bad ass with you. Welcome to UNFOUND!

Offline Alexi

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Re: This is the story of Stanley Employee 432
« Reply #3 on: August 30, 2016, 09:15:12 PM »

Hey man nice to meet you! I like the way you guys roll up here. My favorite thing to say when someone is offended is well I'll recount a time I ran into this situation. I was drinking at a bar in my home town and my friend said something brutally epic which lead to the reply out-loud by me of, "Jesus fucking christ bro that's awesome!". A girl near me tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Sweetie I don't appreciate you saying the Lord's name in vein like that". I looked at her bewildered and asked, "It's just a phrase how does that offend you? Just curious not trying to be a dick here". She replied, "Well that simply offends me with my being a Christian and all". I smiled, took a drink of my Guiness Extra Stout and then some bull-shittery flew out of my mouth. "I can understand how that would offend you, but if you're strong in your faith then you should know I am not a Christian. I am totally fucking down for you believing in whatever you believe. Everyone has views mine are just not yours. It's cool if we don't see eye to eye on this topic, but understand I respect your constitutional right for what-fucking-ever you wanna believe my dear patron. Understand this however my fair maiden I don't give a fuck. I give zero fucks that you're offended and I'll tell you why...As a professional life coach I can say to you that your offense isn't with what I said just now, it's with a past unresolved issue you neglected to deal with for whatever-fucking reason. That's on you. Know this. Remember this. So fucking fix it and don't make your unresolved issues my fault when you should have dealt with your baggage accordingly. OH man I fucking just did say that. Wanna beer?"

She looked at me shell shocked stuttered a little, smiled and then said, "Wow ok I'll take a beer you clever son-of-bitch" where I jokingly inserted cutting her off, "I may be many things, but my momma is far from a bitch." The lady confused looked at me and I smiled and said, "She makes Lilith look like a fucking saint, because my mom is a bad bad bitch and she has my utmost respect". The lady laughed and she took the beer I bought her and seated herself across the room. I looked at the bartender and said, "And that is how you handle people who can't mind their own fucking business". "He looked at me and jokingly said, Amen bro, Amen".

I hope you enjoyed my retelling of that account Craig. I'm on Teamspeak simply as Rutherford30, so even if we're playing different games if you see me on there say hi man! I'll shoot the shit with people online playing other games. Ahhhh the beauty of the internet and it's glorious vast wonders haha.


Hey man! I'm totally down for talking metal, guitars, anime, and all that good stuff! I hope to learn what is bad ass with you in all your wicked awesomeness. Haha, finally a place online where I can be my simple Marine self without all this professionalism censorshiped fuckery.

Anyone who reads this for fun

Say hi to me and we'll talk and I promise it will be fun!

Other than that guys make sure you have a fucking amazing day! :D


The best swear combo I loved from the Marines is inserting "fuckin' damn" inbetween every word. So fun lol. Random factoid about me for the day.